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Archive for August, 2009

Many Blessings And Psalm 127

Psalm 127 reads as follows from the King James Version of the bible:1] Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.[2] It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.[3] Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.[4] As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.[5] Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemiesin the gate.This psalm is seemingly separated in two parts but there is also a continuance to where the Lord gives an individual sleep and children, both of which are considered blessings flowing from his hand but blessings that also contain elements which operate as a buffer as it is in the case of the children who speak with the enemies at the gates and metaphorically are like full quivers of arrows and who act as a buffering presence in the face of the discomforting presence of the nemesis or enemies at the gate. This encounter depicted is not understood by most interpretations of this psalm as anything to do with a violent confrontation but it was custom in that time that discussions were held, often of the legal kind at the gate in the town or city. This verse would therefore refer to children that were at least mostly grown as helping the father. The sleep acts as a buffer to overdoing it and getting to worked up about the worldly efforts and how they will transcribe as time goes on.From this we see that the Lord’s blessings can also have a part that is a buttress for us, against unfriendly elements. Something to ponder then from this psalm is how the Lord fortifies us in various ways.I had heard a sermon a long time ago on this psalm and it was at an outdoor service in the summer and I remember the homilist saying specifically about the first two verses about pertaining to work and prayer. How the excessive emphasis on work as opposed to prayer can lead to a vain situation presented here. People do say their work is their prayer but this is talking about focused prayer in the presence of the Lord. He went on to mention that this balance can easily be lost in the pace and time of modern society and it is important to fine tune this balance and the call back to prayer is something that is brought about by maybe increasing difficulties which would have been graced against had prayer been resorted to in the first place.Something to also think about is the necessity of leisure time and activities that could be considered leisurely pursuits rather than work. Often, people feel if they are churning the wheels of work, then somehow it is all good and it is always fully justified based on the ethic of hard work. As far as generating person hood and a balanced prayer life, leisure could be important and people sometimes correlate leisurely activities like walking alone on a beachfront in the early dawn with personal prayer. This time is for leisure but also carves into time alone with the Lord in prayer. Many people go through long periods of time when they usurp leisurely pursuits for the seemingly greater goals of work and whether this is the best thing for spiritual growth and maintenance is something to ponder in the context of what this psalm is saying. True turns in your life are under the control of the Lord. One thing to think about is does the Lord suddenly value you that much more because of recent work successes?In this psalm we could speculate that the beloved to whom this psalm is addressed, is generally beloved regardless of work successes or indeed additional successes or toppings don’t increase the status as of the beloved, because it says he gives his beloved sleep and how much can you be increasing your status or drive towards that while sleeping? So this psalm also indicates that the status of beloved has intrinsic qualities to it, that are there regardless of what is generated off of given efforts towards labor or building and rising up early or staying up late and eating the” bread of sorrows”.Then, is this psalm just riding over that the Lord is not only giving the beloved sleep, he actually giving the beloved everything that is needed to bring him to the place of peaceful sleep. The only other possibility would be that the Lord might bring sleep but not always the fuller answer to content with what is going into the realm of vain efforts. But it is just as likely that what this psalm is really saying that the relief has been total and the Lord has relieved this person to the extent that their problems are solved and they can enjoy a peaceful sleep as well. Why would the Lord just give the sleep and not all else that pertains to consolation? Since he is in the mode of giving with it be limited giving?.It is interesting that something like the expression in this psalm of ” eat the bread of sorrows” survives to this day. People today, say things like these problems are eating away at me or my worries are eating away at me. Here this psalm is saying not to imbibe in this type of outlook, that going there, hosting this extensive worry and excessive concern, just isn’t go to work regardless as it is also a vain effort.Unless the Lord’s part rises, like the sun rising in the distant horizon of the early morn, there is only so much that can be done. Something to discuss specifically in prayer, is not only what is of concern and worrisome, but just what the Lord’s part will be against the backdrop of these worries that indeed may be eating away at my happiness, and how much deference is actually needed to the Lord’s part and giving understanding to the manifold ways in which the Lord’s part may emerge into the scenes of my life and giving room and acceptance to that emergence.Whatever we need, we all need blessings or daily blessings as we go about in the world. We depend on so many small blessings that just must happen for our days or day to go well. No matter what overall standing you can achieve, you don’t lose the place of having to rely on daily blessings coming thru and coming your way. There is no exemption to this. The clause, expect the Lord play his part, is without exception if you want blessings and good things. You can stand on the words of this psalm and approach the Lord asking him that except you labor with me, build with me, I can’t do this and this isn’t going to happen to the extent that I want it to happen or I hope for it to happen. This is not passing the buck but just going into the reality of what we believe actual is according to the words and wisdom of this important psalm. The reality is I’m depending or dependant on the Lord coming into this to some degree in the manner of labor or building and in the manner of watching for me. With this should come a greater understanding of that which is coming through as contextual to the Lord’s labor for me and the Lord’s close watch for me as I strive to keep the relationship close in the manner of prayer, reverence and heeding the presence of the Holy Spirit. Even in small but conspicuous ways the Lord’s presence comes through as part of a overall and continuous watch, a watch that is for the city as a whole, yes, but also contained to a watch for you personally..The Lord will come right into that area that involves this need for a watch and assist with these concerns which should be lifted up to him. Rising up early means is rising up to contend with these concerns and worries rather than rising up in prayer to the Lord. It is not that you still don’t retain the quality of alertness but the rising up is not to greet these concerns head on but only with the assistance of the presence of the Lord.Indeed someone might legitimately have real sorrows to contend with but the status being of the beloved supersedes the sorrows and the Lord in this psalm comes into the sorrows and takes on a role to where the beloved can indeed sleep on it and give it to the Lord.There is a place of labor, but laboring in vain can be crossed into and the Lord can quickly allow the efforts of labor to dissipate or come to nothing. You do know people possibly even yourself that have made tremendous long term work efforts but these efforts can be lost in vanity and the results of vanity which are warned against here.Here, the Lord gives as an anecdote to the festering worries, sleep. But it may not be just sleep or only sleep, what else the Lord is trying to give as the contrast against the real worries that are keeping someone awake to trouble or leaping forward into their presence in maybe frightening ways. It is not only a matter of asking the Lord to relieve you of these great worries, but also going into them and asking what the Lord prefers to give you, within the topic of concern. Even in the throes of keen difficulties, it is not only a matter of asking the Lord to relieve the difficulties but to also seek what he would give. The seeking process is not just getting the Lord to give or pleading for something specific, but also finding out and understanding what the Lord is and will be giving if you don’t run past it, as this is what is happening by vain efforts, the individual goes right past what the Lord had for him or her. It is like someone running a race and getting so focused on the goal they run right past the water stop or whatever people are trying to give as an aid or help for the race. The example here of watching for a whole city, how can an individuals efforts in this direction compare to what the Lord could do in terms of watching for a city? The natural tendency when in trouble is to look for any way out, rather than even contemplating that the Lord might have something to give, right from the midst of the troubles you are in. This psalm says don’t ” eat the bread of sorrows” but to seek right within these sorrows what the Lord has to give. You don’t have to be free and clear of troubles, to go right to seeking what the Lord actually has for you and may give you.

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10 Link Building Strategies for Church Marketing

Below is a list of link building strategies to get you started as you add link building to your church marketing strategy. It certainly isn’t an exhaustive list, but it can get you moving in the right direction and help give you ideas. The ideas are not listed in any particular order 1. Denominations and Associations: If you belong to a denomination or association of churches, make sure the main denomination/association website has a link to your church’s website. Most denominations have an online directory of sorts, so you will probably be able to simply request that your church’s site be listed. Even better than just being listed in the directory would be to see if you can get a special feature or story posted on the site about your church. There may also be regional divisions of the denomination such as districts, states, or dioceses. Get a link on every one of those sites. These are especially good links to get because they are extremely relevant and denomination/association headquarter websites tend to be seen as authoritative sites by the search engines. 2. Other Churches: See if other churches will link to your church’s site. This is especially probable from other churches within your denomination or association, but any church may be willing to link. If they ask for you to link back to their site, don’t be afraid to do that. It can help their online church marketing as well. 3. Search for church related sites and contact their webmaster requesting a link: These can be sites that offer church supplies, church related services, sites that help setup and promote church events, etc. If you contact them via email, be sure to send a personalized message which shows you are familiar with the recipient’s website/organization and be sure to address specific reasons why it would be beneficial for them to link to your site. Emails aren’t the most personal form of communication. A phone call or even a visit (if they are local) can be very effective. Tip: Links from sites related to your site’s topic are more valuable in search engine marketing than links from unrelated sites. So, focus on getting links from Christian or church related sites. Sites related to the city your church is in can be relevant as well and help with local keywords. 4. Register your website with directories: This is one of the easier link building strategies as you don’t have to convince someone to list you (that’s what directories do) and there are plenty of sites that don’t require reciprocal linking (reciprocal linking is when you have to link back to the other site). Directories are also helpful in telling the search engines what your site is about because you put your listing in a specific category. If you don’t want to spend hours and hours submitting your site to directories, there are companies that offer directory registration services. Christian directories and church locator sites are especially good. 5. Ask your members: Unlike most companies, churches have a built in support base. People who not only like the church but want to actively support the church. Your members may have personal sites, MySpace profiles, or company websites where they can put links to your church. They want to help, so don’t be afraid to ask. 6. Offer services: This may be something like starting a food bank, becoming a Salvation Army drop-off location, or hosting midnight basketball. These are services churches and businesses can support regardless of denomination or religious affiliation, broadening the spectrum of websites that are willing to link to you. As a bonus, these can be great ministries helping the community, giving members ways to serve, and bringing people to Christ. Professional services can also be effective. Most churches already offer wedding facilities. If you have a gym or fellowship hall, you could make the facilities available for people to rent. Spread the word around town to event planners and other organizations and ask them to link to your church. 7. Schedule an Event: Hold a concert at your church or bring in a special guest speaker. Host a conference or charity event. It’s natural for people, companies, radio stations, etc. to link to the website of the place hosting and event. So, you probably won’t even need to ask people to add a link. 8. Create great content: This is both the easiest and most difficult way to get links, depending on how you look at it. It’s easy because you don’t actually do anything specifically trying to get links. The idea is that if your site has enough great content, people will want to link to your site without you having to even ask. On the other hand, it can be difficult to create great content and continue to offer new great content year after year. Most churches don’t ever even think of offering great content on their site. They limit their site to announcements and general info about the church, but you can also have Bible studies, topical resources, online tools, and other content available on the church’s website. The extra benefit of this strategy is that it not only can generate links, but it also keeps visitors coming back giving you lots of return traffic and gets more people to visit the church. 9. Request links on local information/service sites: Most cities have at least some sites dedicated to information about the city. Some examples would be the city’s Chamber of Commerce, sites listing local places of worship, tourist information sites, etc. The purpose of these sites is to list websites and locations like your church. So, you have a good chance of getting a link. In addition to just getting an extra link, links from these types of sites also reinforce to the search engines that your church is from that city. That helps you to rank better for local keywords. 10. Create content, video, or pictures that are unique and exciting and then promote them around social media outlets (YouTube, Facebook, etc): This can be a lot of fun and have a great message. Many pastors have a blog that is syndicated and more and more churches are podcasting sermons. Videos, especially, can be a great youth group activity. Done right, you can create what’s called a viral marketing campaign where people find your content and tell others about it. Those people tell their friends who tell their friends, etc. If successful a viral campaign can generate thousands of links in a very short amount of time. Time to Get in Gear: The purpose of your church’s website is to have an online presence for your ministry. Link building is a way to increase that online presence, to reach more people, and expand your ministry. In search marketing, inbound links that have been around awhile can be given more weight than new links. So, it’s best to start sooner rather than later. You don’t have to choose just one strategy. In fact it’s usually best to use several, especially creating great content on your site. It’s time to start getting links to your site and turn your website into an online juggernaut for Christ.

Kurt Steinbrueck is the author of the Church Marketing Online blog. He has been Director of Marketing Services with Ourchurch.Com for over 5 years providing Christian search engine optimization services including services specific for church marketing solutions and private school marketing. Kurt is also a Deacon at his church.
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The Year of Your Visitation O Church

Jeremiah 23:22 But if they had stood in my counsel, and had caused my people to hear my words, then they should have turned them from their evil way, and from the evil of their doings.

The test of any true man or woman of God is not that they dream dreams, see visions, hear a word of wisdom, nor are the Appointed Man or Woman of God in a certain church or denomination. The true test is what they are preaching and teaching. The number one truth test in scripture is are they preaching and teaching the gospel. The cross and discipleship of a servant following his master. Within this gospel is the paramount item once a person is a believer. That is forsaking evil, sin, and idolatry. Those who are true followers of the Lord will preach against this evil in the church, people of God, and nation. When you see a man or woman of God, ask the question. Do they preach the gospel and does this gospel stand up against sin? This is the paramount once a person is saved. Standing up against sin, idolatry, and fornication, especially within the church. Failing to identify sin, makes us as Israel became. A harlot apart from our God. Serving Lusts and seeking idols to satisfy the soulish and worldly part that can take over any man or woman. We then see the lack of this type of preaching in the church in America today. It is softness.

The softness of the pulpit today is apparent. Softness is avoiding the gospel and those things that sting a person. Speaking boldly against sin, especially sin in the church is anything but being soft. Softness projects the idolatry in a nation into the church and brings with it another gospel. A poster I saw the other day revealed a church service. It announced a weight lifting group service in church. Other churches have any number of services to attract new members. The one thing almost every church and ministry does is utilize all the modern tools to reach out. Glitzy ads, radio and Tv spots, ad campaigns, new programs to attract people, and the sales pitch has to be perfected. The power of God, Fasting, repentance, preaching sin, and holiness are left out. Too harsh. So softness is the rule of thumb for many in the pulpit and ministry today.

In the American church today you will find perfection. Yes sir, for the most part the floors are carpeted. The pews are located in a modern sanctuary with the best lighting and microphone system there is. From the shiny cross and beautiful baptistry to the padded seats and well dressed ushers, we provide the best. We have not had lack for many years. We have never faced death for serving and following Jesus Christ. We have jobs, nice homes, good cars and nice churches. Our pastors and staff are the best educated there is.

The problem is our churches are like Ichabod. The church today is carnal, selfish, glizty, wicked, and turned to love the world. The church is at enimty with God because it loves the world so much. This is the profane church filled with profane ministers, evangelists, deacons, prophets, and apostles. It is a corporate structured religious being. It makes just enough room for what is God and not enough for a true relationship. It makes itself appear as Godly but in fact it is a pseudo disciple of Jesus Christ.

If it were a true church, then preaching and teaching against the wickedness and idolatry in the church would be the top priority. But today almost all the churches and ministers spend time preaching self help sermons and how to get rich schemes. They teach God loves the World. They sermonize on how God wants you to be rich, the gain is the nearest thing to godliness there is. You can get rich to give more. Thus the harlot is a queen. Jesus Christ is a namesake and keepsake item to polish not to follow. This is the whore church in America, it is everywhere.

Luke 20:17 And he beheld them, and said, What is this then that is written, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner?
Luke 20:18 Whosoever shall fall upon that stone shall be broken but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

The jews rejected the stone. This stone is Jesus Christ, Yeshua HaMassiach. Today many churches have seemed to accept this stone. Yet, they will find out that in truth they have been promoting an idol worship and false gospel of carnality. The worldliness of the church will bring this stone down upon the church. The scripture above warns us to watch out. This stone will have a day when judgment will come. It will come upon all the people on earth. It will start first with the church.

1 Peter 4:17 For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?
18 And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?

There was a year of visitation upon Israel. Then another year, then another. Chapter twenty three of Jeremiah describes in part what Israel was like. This is also a picture of the dreadful condition of the church in the USA. It is a picture of the false shepherds, prophets, and apostles who direct this apostasy in America. Just like this visitation with all its droughts and other warnings were ignored, so too has the warnings from the Lord gone unheeded.

I warn the church, shepherds, ministries, evangelists, prophets, apostles, deacons, and people of God, Your Visitation is coming this year. It will continue to get worse and worse. This nation will see a tremendous upheaval in the coming years. God will bring the “smelter of the Lord to the Land of the free”. This Visitation, will see its completion and will accomplish its purposes in Gods time table.

We have so far ignored what God has been revealing to this nation and to the whoredom in the church. The carnality, worldliness, and idolatry have reached to the Lord. It will begin soon. Don’t ignore it, but I urge you to repent. Now is the time to seek the Lord will all your heart and repent of this evil.

To those in the church who do not repent. To those who are profane and have changed my word to fit your sins, the Lord says, “Woe to the Shepherds who destroy”. “I will attend to you for the evil of your doings”.

Revelation 3:14 ¶And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God
15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:
18 I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.
19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
21 To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.
22 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.

May you seek the Lord with all your heart

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Church Letter Writing Success Mini Course – Tip 11 of 13

Church Letter Writing Success Mini Course – Tip 11 of 13It is recommended you use all 13 Tips in your Ezine

Our eleventh lesson in “13 Tips For Church Letter Writing Success” will build off the letter “E” in our Church Letters acrostic.

So far, we have looked at the following:C – Be ClearH – Be HopefulU – Be UnderstandingR – Be ResponsiveC – Be ConsistentH – Be Helpful

L – Be “Letter-Ready”E – Be EvangelisticT – Be TactfulT – Be Timely

Today, we will take a look at:

E – Be Energetic  If you are conveying an important message, whether in spoken or written form, it is important to be as energetic about it as possible without being “fake”. 

How does this happen?  Asking God to communicate the importance of the opportunity to you, then sharing in a way that will make the person feel like you are not just “doing your job”. 

Eccles. 9:10a – “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might…” If what you are doing with your hand is typing or writing, or even make a great point in a sermon, be energetic in your approach.

Use an exclamation point or two in your letter!  This one littlecharacter adds “character”, and helps you to illustrate in a greater way the message you are attempting to deliver.

Even the “quote” “unquote” can be used to great effectiveness, yet this can be also be overused to the point where someone wonders if you really “mean” what you are “saying”.  I “hope”you “get” the “point”!

Anyway, don’t hesitate to add your own personal flair and energy to a letter whether it is a pre-written letter, or one you have written from scratch.

  Below is your eleventh complimentary letter which you may modify and use in your own church communications.

(Congratulations on Job Promotion)

I wanted to take this opportunity to send a letter to congratulate you on the promotion you received on your job.

Harry Truman said the following:  “I found that the men and women who got to the top were those who did the jobs they had in hand, with everything they had of energy and enthusiasm and hard work.”

How true it is that when we think about the quality of our job and not the quantity of our check, the second half of that equation often falls in line.  We also realize that God is the ultimate rewarder of the efforts of men, and he is the one who exalts and promotes in reality.  1 Peter 5:6 – Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

The Bible also tells us that we are to do everything as if we are doing it for God Himself: 1 Cor. 10:31 – So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

You have worked hard, and have been rightfully recognized and rewarded for your efforts.  You are to be commended, and I encourage you to continue to do your work to the Glory of God and you will be amazed at how the favor of God will rest on your life.

Again, congratulations!

In Christ’s Love,Rev. John Doe

Church Letter Writing Success 13 Part Mini Course by
Norman Lawrence of http://www.churchletters.net
Visit the site for nearly 40 Categories with over 450 Letters
written by a Pastor FOR Church and Ministry Leaders.
Tips and Information

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Understanding ours and others’ Needs

We need to understand and communicate our needs. At the same time, it is important to be able to hear, and if possible, respond to the other’s needs.
The following exercise in examining needs will help.

SOME NEEDS WE MIGHT HAVE
FROM THE OTHER
Mark your needs and add others you would like to be respected or fulfilled in this relationship.

1. Love (or greater expression of it)
2. Respect
3. Understanding (of what?)
4. Acceptance as we are
5. Acknowledgement and affirmation
6. Trust
7. Freedom to think and function as we believe and in accordance with our needs
8. A peaceful environment
9. Support and encouragement in the cultivation of our abilities and powers
10. To be listened to without hearing criticism or advice.
11. Satisfaction with us.
12. Inspiration
13. To be just with us – to behave toward us as he or she would like us to behave toward him of her
14. To agree with our beliefs and ideals or at least accept and respect them
15. To express his or her true feelings, needs and beliefs
16. Freedom of movement
17. To keep our agreements
18. To have patience with our weaknesses
19. To be supported during difficult moments
20. To express gratitude for all we offer him or her
21. To acknowledge our positive qualities
22. To be able to be alone when we do not feel well or when we have the need.
23. To get out more often
24. To get more rest
25. To be given more help in the chores
26. For greater attention when we speak
27. To do more things together
28. For greater responsibility on his or her part
29. To be on time
30. To receive more help and cooperation in keeping order and cleanliness
31. To be able to behave as we like in our home.
32. To take care of him/her self.
For romantic relationships:
33. Affection and erotic contact.
34. To be sexually devoted to only us

Other___________________________________

Consider which needs might be behind the following:

Your complaining
Your criticism
Your impatience
Your refusal to cooperate
Your reactions
Your conflicts and arguments
The games you play
Your competitiveness
Your teaching and sermonizing
Your anger

Now place a special mark next to those needs that in your perception are not being fulfilled enough in your relationship.
Having done so, seek to discover whether your lesson is to:
1. Express these needs more dynamically through I-messages
2. Get free from the needs
3. Get free from subconscious beliefs (fears, guilt) that prevent you from manifesting this need
4. Some combination of the above.

According to what you find, then employ affirmations for each obstacle towards any of these four possible lessons so that you can move forward.

According to your discoveries, make a plan for proceeding toward a happier reality.

Tuning into the other’s needs.
Mark what you believe to be the other’s needs

1. Love (or greater expression of it)
2. Respect
3. Understanding (of what?)
4. To accept them as they are
5. Acknowledgement and affirmation
6. Trust
7. Freedom to think and function as they believe and in accordance with their needs
8. A peaceful environment
9. Support and encouragement in the cultivation of their abilities and powers
10. To be listened to them without hearing criticizing or advice
11. To be satisfied with them
12. To inspire them
13. To be just with them – for us to behave toward them as we would like them to behave toward us
14. To agree with their beliefs and ideals or at least accept and respect them
15. To express our true feelings, needs and beliefs
16. Freedom of movement
17. To keep our agreements
18. To have patience with their weaknesses
19. To be support them during difficult moments
20. To express gratitude for all that they offer us
21. To acknowledge their positive qualities
22. To be able to be alone when they do not feel well or when they have the need
23. To get out more often
24. To get more rest
25. To receive more help in the chores
26. To be given greater attention when they speak
27. To do more things together
28. For greater responsibility on our part
29. To be on time
30. To receive more help and cooperation in keeping order and cleanliness
31. To behave as they like in the home and elsewhere
32. For us to take care of ourselves
For romantic relationship partners
33 Affection and erotic contact
34. To be sexually devoted to only them

Other___________________________________

You might also want to consider which needs might be behind the other’s:

Complaining
Criticism
Impatience
Refusal to cooperate
Reactions
Conflicts and arguments
Games he or she plays
Competitiveness
Teaching and sermonizing
Anger

Now place a special mark on the other’s needs that you consider to be the least satisfied by yourself in this relationship. Then consider possible lessons:
1. To feel okay even if your loved one’s need is not satisfied
2. To free yourself from any obstacles that keep you from satisfying your loved one’s needs
3. To communicate more effectively about this through I-messages and active listening
4. To find practical solutions so you both can be happy
5. Some combination of the above

Once you have made your discoveries, move forward to employing affirmations for any emotions which might obstruct you from lovingly satisfy the other’s needs or getting free from guilt that he or she is not satisfied. Also as mentioned above, work on any difficulties if communicating on this problem.

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