The first queue was really long and God was greatly disappointed to see that there were so many men who failed to fulfil their destiny set by God as the head of the household. Their lives were completely controlled by their wives. But God saw that there was one man in the second line. Finally, there was one man who lived up to his calling. God turned to all the men in the first queue and told them to follow the good example of the one man in the second line. However, God was really curious as to how he did it. He turned to the man and asked him for his secret formula on how he managed to control his wife and not let her dominate his life. The man turned to God and said, “I don’t know, God. My wife told me to stand in this line so I obeyed.”

Marriage is long instituted by God. It was created by God in the Garden of Eden. When God instituted marriage, it was not meant for Christians alone but for all people. King Solomon told us in Ecclesiastes 9:9 (New Living Translation) to “live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife, God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil”. Clearly, even King Solomon understood the meaning of marriage and to live happily with the woman that God has rewarded you for you your hardworks. King Solomon wants us to enjoy the marriage that God has instituted in our lives.

Marriage is important to God and to use. It represents how God loves us and our relationship with God. The Bible likens us as the brides of Christ. If we say that our marriage is not working, then we are saying that our relationship with God is not working. All His marriage institutions then are failure. This is not a good representation of God’s love for His people. There are many divorces in this world. We are Christians have a role to play and that is to show God’s love is real. We must ensure our marriage is successful as it is our message to the world that God’s love is real and our relationship with God is real.Ephesians 5:22-25; Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.The Role and Responsibilities of a Husband1. To be a leader

The husband is to be a prophet, priest and king to his wife. The husband is the leader and head of the household. As the leader and the head, men are called to have vision and to provide direction. Why is the man called to be the head? On the head, lie the eyes. The purpose of the eyes is to see far and near, to see ahead with vision. When God created the world, He created the man first and God gave man the responsibility of work to look after the garden and the animals. God left man with the accountability and command not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil before God created woman.

However, since sin entered the world through Adam, men began to fall away from God. Today, men are so busy working. They do not have time to pray. They do not have time to serve in the church. They do not have time to read the bible. They do not have time to provide spiritual food to their wives and children. How then is the man going to fulfil his role as the priest and king to his wife?

As the priest, the role is to lead the people of God into the presence of God. As the priest to your wife, your responsibility is to provide spiritual food and guidance to your wife, and to lead her into the spiritual presence of God.

A king always carries himself with dignity and authority. He is supposed to lead like the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit leads God’s people. He does not drive or push the people to meet God’s goals. The king rules the kingdom wisely and reigns among his people.2. To love his wife

A wise and loving king will put his kingdom and people first before himself. Similarly, as the husband, you are to lead your wife and family but not by force or by thumbing your wife down. A wise and loving husband will govern his household wisely and reigns. His family will respect him and obey him as he puts his wife and family first before himself. A husband must love his wife, be willing to give of yourself and lay down your life for your wife.

Every time we backslide or sin, we grieve God. But He never gives up on us. He saddles us with His love and lovingly holds us in His arms. God remains faithful even if we are unfaithful. In every way, the husband is to be like Jesus who loves the church and gave of Himself for our salvation. In the same way, the husband is to love his wife and give of himself to her.The Role and Responsibilities of a Wife1. To be a helper to her husbandGenesis 2:28; And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

God told Adam the reason why Eve was created. When God created the world, God said that everything He created was good. When He created man, He said that it was not good enough. God said that something was missing and it was not good for man to be alone. Although when God created Adam, he has a job to look after the Garden of Eden but God realised that it was not healthy for Adam to be alone. By being alone, Adam will not have a healthy character development. Hence, God created woman to be a helper and comparable in every way to Adam in order to assist him.

How then is the woman to help man to fulfil the visions and dreams given to him by the Holy Spirit? How is the wife to help her husband to see the visions and dreams from God? For the wife to be a helper, she must know the husband’s vision. It is the husband’s responsibility to share his visions and dreams with his wife. If your wife believes that the visions and dreams come from the Holy Spirit, she will believe in you. It is the wife’s role to help her husband to achieve his visions and dreams. As a wife, you are to be a dream enabler, not a dream stealer or destroyer. You are to encourage your husband and to render help to make the visions and dreams come true.2. To submit to her husbandEphesians 5:24; Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

The responsibility of a wife is to submit to her husband. When the Bible says that a wife is to be submissive to her husband, it does not mean that she becomes a slave, to be thumbed down, to be ordered around or to be abused. A wife is to be encouraging, supportive and helpful. In turn, she is to be loved, treasured and respected by her husband. As a wife, you are to submit to your husband in everything.

If a man is married to a woman, who is high powered, more educated than him, and earned much higher, he must do his duty as a husband and as head of the household before she is willing to submit to your authority. Think about it. If you first love your wife and shower her with your agape love, you will find your wife loving you willingly in return. Just as God first loves us, as husband, you are to love your wife first.

Why does marriage fail and Woman dominate over Man? Let’s see in the part 2.

It is very interesting but have you ever stand next to a river and take a look at the surrounding environment around the river bank? I never really did until one day when I drove across a bridge over a deep river on my way to my mother-in-law’s house. The children were swimming freely in the river. Further down, I saw some women washing their clothes in the river. Some men were enjoying an afternoon of fishing activity, undisturbed by the noises coming from the playful children. I noticed lots of trees, bushes, flowers and plantations along the river bank. These were green, healthy plants blooming with life. Along the river bank, there is life.

It was then, I heard this distinct voice said, “where the river flows, it brings life.” Yes, indeed, I began to understand what it means when I looked at the people and activities along the river bank. We have a river within us, too. Whether this river is alive and flowing or mashes of swamps in our lives. Ezekiel 47:1-12 describes this river within us that flows from the sanctuary of God. God was showing Ezekiel the meaning and the purpose of the river.

The Source of the River

Ezekiel 47:1 tells us that the source of the river comes from the sanctuary of God. In the Old Testament, the sanctuary is a physical temple of God. But God moves Himself from a physical temple into our heart. The Bible says that our body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit. He is here to stay in us when we accepted Jesus as our personal Lord and Saviour. The Holy Spirit is a seal of our identity as the child of God, redeemed by the blood of Christ. Now, in us, flows this river and the source of the river is the Holy Spirit. But this river must flow out of us and whether it is gushing out of us, will depend on our spiritual walk with our Father. In order for the river to gush out of us, we must make room for the Holy Spirit to fill us and lead us in our walk everyday. We can stop the Holy Spirit or we can allow the Holy Spirit to take control of us.

The Course of the River

Ezekiel was shown the river. He was also led by the angel out from the temple into the river. First, the water was up to his ankles. Then as he walked deeper into the river, the water came up to his knees. He walked further into the river, the water came up to his waist and eventually it was too deep for him to walk in the river. He has to swim. As the river flows, it does not get widen and widen. Instead, as it flows, it cuts deeper and deeper into the land. As we choose to walk with God, you will find that your life becomes stronger and deeply rooted in God and His words. It also means that you begin to trust God more and more because in the deep river, you cannot walk and touch the ground, you can only swim. When there are no more steps to stand on, we need to let go of ourselves and learn to rely on God to guide you across the river. Depth and substance are what God wants to build in us, not width and more material wealth. These are just the by-products of seeking God first. If we are not anchored in God, we will find ourselves struggling to keep alive by swimming but eventually our strength will wear out and we will drown from fatigue.

The Mashes and Swamps that Stop the River Flows

As the river flows, there will be obstacles and hindrances that prevent the river from flowing on. When the river stops to flow, it forms into lake, swamps and mashes. These dead sea is no good to anyone as the water is too salty for any use. It cannot be used for drinking. It cannot be used for providing nutrients to the growth of plants and food. It is basically useless. In our lives, we must beware of swamps and mashes that hinder our personal relationship with God. These swamps and mashes prevent the power of the Holy Spirit flowing through us to others. When these swamps and mashes are built up over time, nothing living can grow in it. When we walk away from God and refuse the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we are like the swamps and mashes. No life will flow from us and everything we touch does not bring life and draw others to God.

There is power in the flow of the river. The force of the river brings life. The amount of flow will depend on how much we are willing to allow the Holy Spirit to work in our lives.

There must also be life in us. If the force of a flowing river is powerful, all kinds of plants will grow alongside it and bear fruits. These fruits become food for us. The leaves become medicine for healing. When we walk with God, our lives will become fruitful as we do good works. Through our good works, it becomes food for our spiritual growth and for others to be helped and encouraged. We become “medicine” for others who needed a helping hand, a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on. As we help the poor and needy, we bring healing to their souls through our kindness, love, compassion. They will see God and the goodness of God through you. But if you are a dead sea, there is no output from dead sea except lots of salt. And we know the more salt you take, the thirstier you become, and you will die from lack of water.

God has positioned us where we can become the channel for the river of life to flow through and out of us to bring life to others around us. Ask yourself whether your life is full of swamps, mashes or a dead sea. Or, is your life a flowing river or a still river? If you have not allowed the Holy Spirit to take control of your life today, will you go before God and ask Him to fill you with His Spirit to make you a living river? It is never too late to do so.

‘Substance’ here refers to the foundation that supports you in your life. Your faith is going to carry you through 2008. ‘Evidence’ means ‘confidence’. Faith is being confident of what you are going to achieve based on what you see right now. It is an attitude and a posture of confidence that God is leading you all the way.

Faith is having the confidence of holding yourself or your own when you are with powerful people, bosses, colleagues, subordinates and even family or strangers. God wants us to walk in confidence. Hebrew 10 tells us to hold on to our confidence and not to throw it away.

Without confidence, means without faith, and without faith it is impossible to please God. This confidence is not about arrogance but trusting God and knowing that He will see you through. God’s power travels through an atmosphere of faith. Faith comes by hearing the Word of God. When God’s words are preached, deliverance, healing and all signs of miracles is performed and confirmed through faith. The anointing power travels through our confidence in God. Have confidence that God is with you. With an attitude change, your ministry is changed by having confidence and walking in confidence.

Your confidence is the cable where God’s power travels like a live wire from heaven to you. When Jesus was attacked by the devil in the desert, he was tempted in the realm of His confidence. Satan was interested in Jesus’ life and His confidence. In Matthew 4:1-3, 5-6, 8-9 – especially verses 3, 6, 9 – notice the words ‘if you are the Son of God’ that Satan used. Satan was testing Jesus’ confidence as the Son of God. He was daring Jesus to prove that He was the Son of God by doing what Satan wanted Him to do. It was necessary for Jesus to show who He was. Satan uses the same techniques on us, too. The devil will tempt us that ‘if we are the children of God, then do this and that’. The devil will always test and shake our confidence again and again in our faith as the child of God.

The devil is a scholar of Bible School. He knows the scriptures very well but he twisted it. To defeat the devil, we have to know the bible too. Years ago, there was a newspaper article featuring two young men of a local church who was killed by a drunken driver on their way home from church. The pastor of the church started this church not too long before the accident. After the accident, a Christian friend of the pastor from his previous church came to mock at the pastor. This friend was telling the pastor that ‘if the divine blessing of God was upon you and your church, why was there no divine protection upon your congregation?” We know that this is not true. We live in a broken world. Satan attacks not only an individual, he will try to attack the whole church’s confidence as well. When we do God’s works, the devil will do everything he can to shake your confidence. The devil was trying to shake the pastor’s confidence in believing that the church he pastor was not under God’s will. But this church, today, stands strong and is still growing.

The devil is very cunning and will make you doubt who you are in God. But the beautiful thing is when Jesus was tempted, Jesus did not have to prove to the devil, his enemies or even his disciples that He is the Son of God. It is the ultimate confidence He has in who He is. He did not have to prove Himself. The same goes for us.

When we are impacting the realms of arts, media, entertainments, business, education, and so forth, the devil will try to break your confidence and ask you to prove yourself and to men. Even Christians will ask you to prove that God is with you especially in the midst of negative events. But when you worry, the more you will worry. When you focus on the negative, the negative will expand. When you give reason and react to fear, you loose your confidence.

In Matthew 11, Jesus wants us to be the light of the world. He mingled and make friends with the tax collector, the sinners, the prostitutes, and the fisherman. He shocked the conservatives of His times. Jesus sent His disciples into the world, to reach out to the world which is directly opposite from what the holy men of His times taught. They taught the people to get out of the world/darkness into the light. They told the “holy men” not to mix around with the sinners of the world because they were defiled. Jesus did just the opposite. His disciples went into the world, to go as sheep among the wolves.

Even John the Baptist doubted Jesus. John the holy prophet sent his disciple to ask Jesus whether He was truly the Son of God (Matt 11:5). But Jesus did not prove Himself to John or his disciple by performing miracles before them. Instead, He responded by telling John to look at the fruits of His life where the sick were healed, the blind saw, the lame walked. He said to John, “Blessed are those who were not stumbled because of Me”. Jesus was not bothered with what people thought of Him. He simply did what the Father wanted Him to do. This is the confidence He had of who He is.

Do you know who you are as surely as Jesus does? It is important for you to know:

1. Your position – who you are in God. You are the head and not the tail.

2. Your power – the anointing and the spiritual gifts given to you.

3. Your purpose – God’s will for you in your life to impact the world for Him.

John 13:4-5 listed Jesus washing the feet of His disciples. Jesus, being the Creator of the universe, Lord of lords, King of kings, he actually knelt down to wash the feet of the disciples. In the olden days, the washing of the feet of the guests is a job done by the lowest level servant upon arrival and before meals. The disciples before the supper were arguing who would be the greatest in the Kingdom of God so none of them was humbling himself to wash the feet of their fellow brothers before the supper. Each was thinking he would be the greatest next to Jesus. Jesus set them an example that the greatest leader must be a servant leader. He knew His position as the Son of God, yet He stood and washed the feet of His disciples with confidence and love. He was not even focusing on the revelation that shortly one of them would betray Him and the rest would desert Him. He became a servant with love that night.

Some of us may feel that becoming a servant is belittling of your position. You may be a CEO of a big company, a high ranking officer in your department or a rich man living in huge houses and driving an expensive car, you are still called by God to be His servant to serve His people. Jesus was also called the Holy Servant because He was humble and did the work of a servant, serving the people of God. Similarly, as the servants of God, we are to serve. The more you serve God’s people, the more you contribute to helping them make their life better. God, seeing your humility, will raise you up before the eyes of men.

Another example is Joseph (Genesis 39-41). Joseph, was arrogant in his younger days. But as he became a servant in Egypt, he learned to be humble and walked with God. As the head servant in Potiphar’s household, all authority was placed into his hands, yet he did not abuse his authority and serve his master well. Later, he was thrown into the jail after being wrongly accused, he continued to serve the keeper of the prison. Eventually, the Lord brought him before the Pharoah and he became the right hand man of the Pharaoh. The bible said that God was with Joseph and all things put into Joseph’s hands, God prospered him. God raised him from nothing to the highest rank. All these were possible because of Joseph’s personal walk with God, his confidence in God and his humility to serve his masters despite of the full authority placed into his hands. Never once did Joseph abuse his authority given.Confidence give you power to serve.

How do you maintain your confidence in God? In Psalm 91:1, we are to run to God and dwell in the secret place of God. Psalm 23 is a beautiful Psalm that tells us God is our Shepherd. In verse 1 to 3, the Psalm begins with the writer referring to God being the third person as shown in the word used “He makes me”, “He leads me”, “He restores my soul”. From verse 4 to 6, it says that “when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me.” The third person from verse 1 to 3 became personal when the writer used the word “You”. It showed that God has become part of his life and he has a personal relationship with God. Only when you are confident that God is with you, you are not afraid to brave any difficulties. It is even okay that not everyone is happy with you but you know that God is with you and all things will be well.

What did Jesus do when he was troubled? He always prayed. He would go to a secret place early in the morning, late at night in the mountain, where no one could reach Him and disturb Him. He went away to a quiet and secret place to pray to God. These were the moments when He was able to pour out his soul to His Father and have His strength be renewed and recharged.

Do you have a secret place where you can pray to God? To nurture your confidence in God again? If we dwell in the secret place of God and walk in confidence with God, we have no fear. Today, if you have no set aside time to pray about the troubles in your heart, it shows that it is really not important enough to warrant you going on your knees before God and cry out for help. Only when you do so, then will you be able to find the peace of God surrounding your heart, to hear a new revelation on what to do and to nurture your confidence in God again. Take the effort to go away to your secret place to be with God, you will not regret doing so.

Faithful is our manna, especially to the things that belong to another man. If we are faithful in the little things, we will be faithful in much. Without faithfulness, there is nothing to build that will last. Be faithful in the things placed into your hands whether be it in submitting your works on time, not taking things from the office home for your personal use, be a good steward in your finances and, so forth.8. Values of Hard Work (Diligence)2 Peter 1:5 – (NKJV) – But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge.2 Thessalonians 3:10 – (NKJV) – For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat.Ephesians 4:28 – (NKJV) Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need.

The bible tells us to give all our diligence in the things we do. Paul says that if we do not work, we do not get to eat. For an organization to grow, the employees must be hard working and labour with their hands things that are good. In times to come, those who work hard and store up, will also be able to give to those who are in needs.9. Values of Integrity (Truthfulness)John 14:6 – (NKJV) Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.John 8:44 – (NKJV) You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.Matthew 9:12-13 – (NKJV) When Jesus heard that, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”

The moment you lie, trust is broken. In this broken world, you know you can tell the truth and still be loved. Better be your way and greater be your life if you build your life on truth. John 8:44 tells us that Satan is a liar and there is no truth in him. He is different from Jesus. Jesus is the truth and there is no lie in Him. When you lie, you walk in lies. You made the devil your father, who is the father of lies. There is no glory, honour and praise in the lack of integrity. But Jesus said that He did not come for those who are well, righteous and rich – Matthew 9:12-13. He came for those who are sick and unloved. When we sin, when we lie, we can repent and return to God. He will welcome you gladly back into His arms. The church of God has rooms for people who are weak, for people who fail, for those that the world rejects. In our marriage, between husband and wife, it must be built on truth and love.10. Values of Generosity (Be a Giver/ Have a Generous Heart and Spirit)Acts 20:35 – (NKJV) I have shown you in every way, by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’1 Timothy 6:6-8; (NKJV) – Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.James 3:14-15; (NKJV) – But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.

One of the best ways to break envy is to be a giver. The more you give, the blessed you will be. When you are envious of people and covets after their possessions, it is demonic. It is self-centredness ruling and it is carnal, of the flesh. It does not come from God.

Where do these ten values come from? Please visit Sermon Alive and also look at the part 1, 2, 3, 5, and 6. Go to www.sermonalive.com

Have you ever wonder why there are people who simply refuse to forgive even when forgiveness is offered? They choose to hold on to anger and unforgiveness, even lashing out in revenge to vent out the hurts. Yet, are they really happy in the end when reconciliation is no longer possible between two persons? I believe the reason is simple. They do not see any values in forgiving the offender and this is not part of their life choices to forgive, to forget and to mend brokenness.

You see, we will never do something if we do not see the value in what we do. Our life choice is a value judgment. Let me illustrate what I mean. For example, you see the value of eating a proper meal, knowing that all the intake of nutrition will provide goodness, health and energy that your body needs. Therefore, you make sure that you have your meals regularly. Another example, you see the value of studying and obtaining a degree so you give up your leisure and spend time in studying as well as to pass your exam. Lastly, you are sick in bed. Much as the idea of taking bottles of bitter medicine for 3 days sounds horrendous, you know that you have to take it in order to be well. So you hold your breath and gulp that nasty medication down your throat. Got the picture now?

For every child of God, it is important for us to realize the value that God has a far greater and higher purpose in life for your future. Until you hold on to this revelation in your heart, you will never be able to let go of the past to embrace the future that holds a far greater value. Just as you cannot put new wine into an old wine skin, the old things must pass away to make ways for new things to come. When you hold on to the past, it is like allowing the new wine to foster and expand in an old skin. Eventually, the old skin through wear and tear will break open under the pressure of the new wine. When you refused to let go of the past, you will wallow in self-pity. You will not be able to see nor taste the new things that come because your focus is on the old things. We have to let go of the past so we can live a more productive and purposeful life that God has in mind for us. If you keep looking down at the step below your feet, you will not be able to see the long road ahead that leads to a better prospect and better opportunity. You will also not be able to see how forgiveness can lead to a deeper understanding of God’s plan for your life.

God wants to bring us into a new life, give us a renewed mind to stop complaining and to stop blaming others for things that happened in your life. God wants us to take responsibility for our life. Life is 10% of what had happened and 90% of how we react to it. We can choose to be negative, angry, hateful, critical, unforgiving, and complaining or we can choose to take responsibility for our actions, our words, our thoughts and our decisions. What we choose is what we value in our life and it is also the value we into it that determines our reactions.

How then do we know what the values we hold in our life? Here are three questions that will help you determine what the values in your life are:

1. What is most important to you?

2. What you stand for, i.e. what is your principle in life?

3. What are the things you are willing to pay the price for?

What is most important to you?

Let’s take a look at Esau and what the bible says about him. Hebrew 12:16-17 says that Esau is an immoral person. He sold his birth right for a morsel of food. He exchanged what is so valuable to every first born son with a bowl of soup to curb his hunger. For every Israelite, the status of a first born son is very important. The first born son will inherit the blessings of the family from his father, be head over the household and all the wealth that goes with it. For Esau, he was willing to give all away for a bowl of soul. The Bible says that Esau realized his mistake but he was not repentant although he was mourning. But God rejected him. Why is this so? Esau was a hunter. He could hunt and find food for himself. A roasted pig probably tasted better than a bowl of soul. But for a moment of pleasure and laziness, he exchanged his birth right for a bowl of soup. He knew that his birthright was very important to every first born son. But Esau did not value what was important.

God wants to bring us to a new life. He wants us to check our life and to relook at our values in life. Are there things that you should value dearly but you didn’t? Are your priorities in life wrong? Do you trade your life for a moment of pleasure with something that is valuable?

If we judge what we value by our circumstance….

We will often devalue what is important to give value what is momentary.

What do I mean by the above? For an example, in the heat of an argument with your spouse (the circumstance), your spouse said the ‘divorce’ word. Your spouse may say it in a moment of anger but the ‘D’ word was said. And the relationship was never the same again.

You may be angry with God because He didn’t answer your answer the way you wanted it to be (circumstance). In a moment of anger, you decided that God has forsaken you and you switched off from God. And you end up losing God in your life.

In both examples, you look only at what you value at that moment in those circumstances and make wrong decisions. You did not think carefully what it means to you. For a moment of foolish, mistakes were made. Realized what your set of values is so you will not loose sight of it in a moment of circumstances and did the wrong things. It will never be the same again when you realize the mistake. It may be too late. A broken vase, although glued together, will remain broke with the visible cracks.

Let me share with you a story of how a Professor uses a jar of rocks, pebbles and sand to teach his students about values. The Professor was an expert in time management. He was teaching a group of students in the university. He took out a jar and show the students the big rocks on the table. He put the rocks into the jar and then asked the students whether the jar is filled to the fullest. One of the students said that the jar was filled up because no more rocks can be put inside the jar. The Professor then took out some small pebbles underneath his table. He put the small pebbles into the jar, gave it a shake and the pebbles fell into the jar, filling up the gaps that the rocks could not fill. He asked the students again whether the jar is fully filled. This time, the students were smart and they said ‘Not’.

The Professor then reached out from underneath his table and grabbed a box of sand and poured them into the jar. The fine sand quickly and smoothly filled in the smaller gaps that the rocks and pebbles could not fill. The Professor asked the students for the third time whether the jar was filled. Seeing that there was no more space for anything to be put in, the students all unanimously said ‘Yes’. The Professor shook his head and this time, from underneath his table, he took out a jar of water and poured it into the jar until it was spilling over the brim.

The Professor then said the jar was now filled to the fullest. He asked the students what was the meaning of this action. One of them said that it was important for them to pack their time fullest and not to waste time. More suggestions came but the Professor said that all their answers were wrong.

He proceeded to explain that the jar represents your life. The big Rocks signified the top priorities one holds in life. The top priorities in your life must go into the jar first. When the most important values and priorities in your life are put in place, then will the other smaller priorities and values come along to fill up your life. If your top priority in life is to obtain a first honor degree, then you have to order your life, plan your schedule in studies and only when you complete the schedule of studies set, then you are able to spend some leisure time at the cinema or go shopping with your friends.

God doesn’t want to live in a jungle, a life of confusion. But if you are, what should you do? Do what Isaac did. He built an altar for God, put up his tent to settle down next and finally dug a well. The altar refers to our personal walk with God. Does God hold the altar of our life or things of the world? When we get our life right with God, then everything else in life will fall into place. Our tent, which is our desires, our works, our relationships, our family, will then be established by God. The well, will be the blessings and abundance of wealth given by God.

Are there areas in your life where unforgiveness become the stumbling block preventing you from moving forward to embrace the better things in life that God has for you? Spend some time and reflect on your life choices and what your values/priorities in life are. If there are people that you need to forgive and even forgiving yourself, place them before God. In our third article on The Power of Forgivenss, we will look at what the Bible teaches us on how to forgive and to embrace the future.

Read on the next Article Part III – How to Forgive and Embrace the Future

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Romans 5:12 says that sin entered through one man. This ‘man’ mentioned in the bible is not a general term referring to mankind but specifically to a particular man. Sin entered through one man and that is Adam. God made Adam the head over all things in the Garden of Eden as we look back at the bible in Genesis 2. Adam was also given the responsibility of works and Adam was commanded not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. All things were perfect and beautiful until sin entered the world through Adam. This explains why things do not go well with businesses, family relationships, careers and even within the nations. Sin has stained everything that God created which was originally beautiful and perfect.

As the head, Adam has a responsibility and authority over Eve. But he failed in that as a husband to protect and to guide her. When we read further in Genesis 3:6, Adam was with Eve when she was tempted by the devil to take and eat of the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He heard and saw the devil tempted her but he did not stop her. When Eve ate of the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, sin has not entered the world yet as far as God is concerned. Reason being, Adam has not sinned yet. He has not eaten of the fruit. He is the head and authority that God has placed over the Garden of Eden and Eve.

1 Timothy 2:13-14 tells us why God held Adam accountable. Adam was formed first before Eve. He was given the revelation by God that when he ate of the fruit, he would die. Adam knew the consequences of eating the fruit. He knew that what the serpent told Eve were lies. Yet in knowing all these, Adam did nothing to neither protect his wife from the devil nor stop her from taking the fruit. As husbands, if we do not cover and protect our wives, they will fall away and try to fight for their own rights and survival. They will fight for themselves.Example of Tamar in the Bible who Fights for her Rights

Let take a look at Judah, his sons and his daughter-in-law. Genesis 38 tells us of Judah taking a wife for himself and they had three sons – Er, Onan and Shelah. Judah also took a wife for his first son, Er, called Tamar. But Er was a wicked man and the Bible tells us that God killed him. In the Jewish tradition, if the wife of the first son does not bear him any children, the second son in the line is to marry her. And the first child born in the second marriage will bear the name of the elder brother and to carry on his line. In Latin, this is called “Levirate Marriage” where “Levir” means husband’s brother.

When Er was killed by God, Judah asked Onan to marry Tamar in order to carry on the line of Er. Onan knew all these and he knew that the family inheritance will go to his brother’s child. He did not obey Judah’s instruction. He wanted sexual pleasure with Tarmar yet didn’t want to give her any baby. He wanted the family inheritance totally for himself as well. God was displeased with Onan’s actions. Onan was killed by God, too. The next son left in line is Shelah. Shelad was too young then to marry Tamar. Judah, after lost two sons, became fearful that Tamar was a jinx. So, he sent her away to her father’s house and promised her that Shelah would marry her when he came of age. But Judah didn’t plan to fulfil his words (Genesis 38:11).

Maturity doesn’t come with age, it comes with the acceptance of responsibility. Judah, being an old man, was totally irresponsible. Tamar waited for Judah to fulfil his words. She saw Shelah grew up and yet was not given to her. When the husband does not give to the wife what she wants that is rightfully hers, she will go and get it her way. Genesis 38:13-14 tells us that Tamar decided to take matter into her own hands. She took off her widow’s garments, covered herself and dressed up like a harlot. She placed herself on the road to Timnah. Timnah, in those days, were equivalent to the modern day Las Vegas, a place where men go to find pleasure for themselves with prostitutes.

Here was Tamar, a woman from a good family background and an obedient woman, was willing to offer her body immorally as a prostitute. What caused her to degrade herself? The reason was given in Genesis 38:14. What was due to Tamar as promised, was not given to her. When a husband does not fulfil his marriage vow to his wife, she will go her own way to meet her needs that her husband does not give her.

Judah, on his way to Timnah, saw the veiled Tamar. He thought she was a harlot. Judah wanted to have sex with her. This was a woman of great virtue and integrity, yet she reduced herself to prostitution to get what she deserved, because of three men who failed her. Tamar knew that Judah was not going to keep his word so she asked for a pledge until he sent his payment. Here, Tamar resorted to manipulation. Judah, like all men, was living for the passion of the moment. He gave his signet, cord and staff that represented him and authority to a “prostitute” in return for a moment of pleasure. God in his sovereign plan has a far greater plan than family life for in the lineage of Judah came Jesus. In Tamar’s change of behaviour, we saw how women can become cunning and manipulative as a result of men who failed them.

The greatest ironic of the entire story in Genesis 38 is we saw Judah keeping his promise to a prostitute instead of to his own family member, his daughter-in-law. The same situation happens today. We saw men who do not provide for their wives and family but they were willing to throw away their money to their mistresses and lovers. Subsequently, Judah received news that his daughter-in-law was immoral and became pregnant. Judah became angry and wanted to burn her alive as a punishment.

Tamar asked her father-in-law to find the man whom the pledge belonged to and found the culprit responsible for her pregnancy. Could you imagine how shock everyone was in the room when they saw the signet, cord and staff? Judah, having saw the pledged items, began to realise the reason behind Tamar’s actions. Genesis 28:26 tells us that Judah realised his failure to keep his promise and decided to take responsibility for his actions.Conclusion

God has a far greater plan despite our failures. Years later, Jesus came through the line of Judah. The most important point in the story is that Judah repented. He did what Tamar wanted of him, and that is to be responsible. Tamar didn’t expect her man to be perfect but to be responsible to their words and to fulfil their duties. As husbands, we have a duty to God and our wives, to fulfil our marriage vows to love, protect and provide for them. Women, today become dominating, demanding, and marriage fails, when men fail to take up their responsibility and role as a man, husband and head of the family. You may be a male by birth but you can choose to be a man by choice!

When God allows events to happen in our lives, it is not for fun nor is He a God who enjoys watching His people suffering. He always has a purpose for allowing events to take place and for us to learn valuable lessons from it. And through the events, He revealed Himself to us as He shows us the way out. When we went out of the situation victorious, the journey does not end there. God wants us to help others going through the same trials and to offer comfort to others with the same comfort we received from God (2 Corinthians 1:6). We cannot comfort others unless we are first comforted by God. Having gone through the same experience and knowing how to walk out of it, we can share with others God’s faithfulness and how God can meet others in their trials, too. We are also able to offer help and they can receive the same comfort from God as well.

There are many out there who do not bow down to the misfortunes they face in life. Instead, they choose to face the situation and walk bravely through it. Christopher Reeve, a once famous actor, well-known for his role in the movie as Superman, was one such example. Christopher had a horse riding accident one day. He fell from his horse and injured his back where he became paralysed from neck down. The man who was once active and known as Superman, representing strength and power, now became a vegetable. He needed assistance everyday. But Christopher chose not to succumb to his situation. Every morning when he woke up, he would spend 20 minutes crying and trying to gather himself to face the day ahead. When he was done with it, he would continue with his mission to help others in the same situation by raising funds for the paralysed like himself. He would made trips around the world, give motivational speeches, and challenged the medical field to discover a cure for the paralysed. This is truly a man who not only represents strength but act out his strength through his weakness.

Our greatest life message comes out of our adversity, not our strength. The very thing we want to forget or regret in our life. God wants to use it to encourage someone who is going through the same thing. Out of that weakness, we turn it into strength. In 2 Timothy 2:10, Paul says that he is willing to endure anything so that he can be a blessing to someone else. God never waste any of our experiences.The Letter ‘R’ – Rely on God’s power

God does not intend for you to go through your trials by your own self nor to resolve the issues by your own strength. By choosing to go on your own, you will not be able to make it through. He wants us to rely on Him and to increase our faith in Him. He wants to strengthen us through our trials and to make us strong (Colossians 1:11). By the strength of God, we will be able to pull through our trials victoriously. We are to rejoice even in the midst of our trials, to be patient and to wait for God’s deliverance. We are not to give up but to persevere in prayers at all times (Romans 12:12). Never to give in to hard times.The Letter ‘E’ – Expect God to bless you

To receive breakthrough, we are to expect God’s deliverance and not to be in that situation forever. James 1:12 says that “Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” We are to endure and to expect great rewards when we persevere to the end.

Job is a good example of God rewarding those who believe and love Him. When you read the Book of Job, we saw God’s plan for Job was good although in the initial Job suffered greatly. But James 5:11 says that those who endured are blessed. God is compassionate and merciful to those who seek Him first. We can expect God to bless us if we endure hardship, we will reign. But it is according to the measure of your faith where God will reward you accordingly.

Endurance is one of the qualities that God wants to develop in us. If we want to do the works of God, endurance is needed in order to receive God’s promises in the end (Hebrew 10:36).

John Stephen Akhwari, a great athlete who competed in the Olympic. Just before the competition, he suffered a serious injury to his leg. He continued to race with bandages covering his leg. When others long finished the race, he reached the crossing line two hours later. When he was asked why he persisted to the end, he said that his country did not send him thousands of miles to win the race, but to finish the race.

In our Christian walks, it is not about winning, it is about us enduring to the end till we cross the finishing line. God never gives up on us so we should not give up on ourselves. If He is able to meet us in each stage of our life, we should do our part to put in the efforts to endure to the crossing line for the promise of the crowd of life. When things get tough, look to Jesus, the best model for us to follow who endure to the very end to the cross for the salvation of mankind.

Please visit Sermon Alive to look at part 1, 2 and 3

Loyalty is the quality of being firm in your friendship or support for someone or something. If we believe that there is only one God in this world, we will align ourselves to this one God. The same applies in your place of work. There are many companies that you can work for but for you to stay on in the same place will be greatly influenced by the leader of the company. If the CEO of the company has great visions for the company, the employees will align themselves towards the same visions. The vision of the CEO will become the vision of the employees, too. No matter what may happen, the visions and the direction remain. This is loyalty, being firm no matter how great the storm is.2. Values of Commitment (Servanthood)

Commitment is a strong belief in an idea or system, especially when it is shown by your actions and behaviour. The value of commitment is to be committed to the authority you are aligned with. This commitment is demonstrated through what you do and say. It is important to teach commitment to the people of God or else nothing can be built. If you want to build a family that will last, you must be committed to making it work.3. Values of Respect (Submission to Authority)

The value of respect is proper submission to authority. There is a proper order of relationship. If you do not understand this, the relationship will be broken up. The things that you do not guard, you will loose. Adam is a good example. He did not guard the relationship he has with God. He watched and allowed Eve to fall into the deception. In the place where God places you with authority over you, you do not elevate yourself to the same level as the authority placed over you. This is wrong. If you do, you allow the seed of seduction to be planted and it is an act of rebellion.

Knowledge can puff up a person. If a person works hard and gets promoted, he unconsciously begins to think his promotion is due to his hard works and by his own efforts. He will begin to think that he knows better than his boss. However, he does not realize that his promotion was due to his boss giving him authority to do the work. He was delegated the job, otherwise there will be no chance for him to be recognised in his works and be promoted. We have to guard ourselves against pride for it breeds familiarity and contentious in the office and this is wrong.

Jesus is an example of humility. Philippians 2:5-11 tells us clearly of Jesus’ humility where He humbles Himself and obeys God to the point of death. He was different from Lucifer. Lucifer wanted to be equal with God. Lucifer was a created being but Jesus was not. It was clear in Philippians that Jesus is equal with God but He chooses to submit Himself to the authority of God. Without this submission to authority and humility of God, His death on the cross and God’s redemption plan will not happen.

Please visit Sermon Alive to read part 1,3,4,5, and 6.

Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. – Colossians 3:13

To forgive someone for the wrong that has been done is easily said than done. How many of us can truly say that we have let go of the past memories, hurts and pains without it really affecting our characters, emotions, decisions, relationships and actions? How many of us can truly say “we forgive so and so for hurting me” in lip service and yet harbour that pain quietly or even wallowing in self-pity?

Are you able to let go of the past in order to embrace the future and even better things to come? Are you able to view your past and look at it positively to say that the past has been turned into something far greater in the later future? If you are not able to let go of the past, you can never embrace the future and move into greater things ahead.

Let’s do a simple True and False questions to test whether your understanding of Forgiveness is right and is according to the Word of God. Below are 5 simple questions. All you need to do is to answer whether they are True or False.

1. A person should not be forgiven until he/she ask for it? (T/F)

2. When I have forgiven, I have minimized the offense done to me? (T/F)

3. Forgiveness includes restoring the trust again. (T/F)

4. You have not really forgiven until you have forgotten the offense. (T/F)

5. When I know someone else who is being hurt, it is my duty to forgive the offender. (T/F)

Tabulate your answers now. How many True and False do you have?

According to the Bible, all the five answers should be “False”. Let’s see what the bible has to say about each of the above five answers on forgiveness.

1. Forgiveness is unconditional.

Real forgiveness is given whether the person requires it or not. It is never based on conditions nor is it offers to someone who asks for forgiveness. The bible says that forgiveness is unconditional and you are to offer forgiveness whether the person deserves it or not, whether they ask for it or even whether they change their behaviour and attitude. We are to forgive unconditionally just as Jesus forgives our sins unconditionally on the cross.

2. Forgiveness does not minimize the offense.

When you are hurt, do not minimize the offense or else you cheapen forgiveness. If forgiveness is treated lightly, then the offence is considered nothing. Proverbs 26:18 to19 says that forgiveness must not be taken as a joke and laugh it off. If it is so, then forgiveness is not taken seriously but has been cheapened to nothing.

3. Forgiveness is not resuming the relationship without any efforts to atone for the offence and to make changes.

Forgiveness is given by grace. For genuine repentance to take place, it involves actions to restore the broken relationship. Repentance is part of restoring the relationship. The word “Restitution” means to restore. Hence, you need to make restitution for what you have destroyed. To rebuild trust that has been lost take time. Just as we take time to grieve over the death of a loved one, time is also needed for trust to be built again. A period of time has to pass before the relationship can be re-established again. God does not expect you to be an idiot for you to forgive an offence only to allow the same offence to be done to you again. It is as simple as if a conman has cheated you once, do you forgive the conman only to allow him to cheat you the second time. Definitely any common sense will tell you it is illogical. Similarly, a period of time is needed to mend back the broken or strained relationship.

4. Forgiveness is not trying to forget what had happened.

Some people may tell you that you have not forgiven the offender unless you are able to forget the offense and the feeling of hurt is totally numb. This is not what the bible says. In fact, the more effort you put in to try to forget the event, the more it will remind you of it. Rather than putting all your energy trying to forget the unhappiness, channel the energy to focus on new things or even building a new relationship elsewhere. When you focus on something negative, the negative becomes magnified and it will occupy your mind. Instead, focus on the positive and magnified the good. The bible says in Philippians 4:8 that whatever things are true, noble, just ,pure, lovely, of good report, of virtue, and praiseworthy to meditate on them. In other words, think of the good stuff that brings smile to your face and not let self-pity take over. Better still, focus on building a strong personal relationship with God.

5. Forgiveness is not my right when I was not the one hurt.

You cannot stand in proxy for forgiveness for someone else. You do not know what the person who is hurting the ordeals he/she went through. You cannot stand in the gap and say to the offender that “I forgive you on behalf of the victim”. However, you can be the middle person to bring reconciliation between two persons just as the bible says you can be the mediator of peace.

Having said all these, why then do people harbour anger and pains by refusing to forgive the Offender? Read on to the next Article on Forgiveness II – Life Choices & Value Judgements.

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